Living With Cancer

My name is Nancy Freeman and I am living with cancer. I am a wife, mother, grandmother and great-grandmother, former teacher and published children’s author. My perspective is not from a podium. Rather it is from a bench. I am the one in the middle of the bench, listening to what one of my very interesting cancer-survivor friends has to say.

My motto throughout this blogging experience will be: Sing what you know. Sing what is true. There isn’t much better this person can do.
I hope you may find a word that helps you on your own private journey.

The Cancer Survivors Park

The Survivor Park is in full bloom and is a joy to visit. This was the first opportunity for the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation to get into the real estate business and this was an important decision for us. Thanks to the tremendous leadership of Chuck Merovitz and a group of dedicated volunteers, bureaucratic mountains were moved and partnerships were shaped and a fateful decision by the Richard and Annette Bloch Foundation to support the endeavour meant that the Cancer Foundation took on a moving train and had to mobilize quickly to keep up. Here was an opportunity to plan and deliver something tangible that would alter the landscape of Ottawa – for the better in my humble opinion.


The Park is certainly big enough to find a spot for solitary reflection but there is magic in the opportunity to share stories and experiences with others who are or were in the same situation. This to me is the true power of the Survivors Park.

I have visited the Survivors Parks in Dallas and New Orleans and they too are part of the urban fabric. As one can appreciate, the New Orleans Park may have had its share of visitors who have had more than cancer on their minds and the facility itself has struggled along with the rest of the city. I visited it a year after Katrina and New Orleans was still reeling. My visit last year showed a city on the rebound – that Super Bowl win certainly helped with the spirits of the city. The site in Dallas is in the very heart of downtown and the impressive sculptures and impeccable landscaping truly stand out.

One of the challenges that we now face is to make the best use of the energy and power of the Survivors Park. Do you have any ideas?

New Hope on the Horizon

I can distinctly recall getting a clear sense that something was wrong with me at my doctor’s office on Bank Street. A testicular cancer diagnosis is arguably among the easier ones to identify. Testicles don’t generally get really large really fast. In fact, I think as a young doctor that he may not have had to deal with such a diagnosis yet – he seemed as shocked as I was. He referred me to an urologist, Dr. DeJesus. They were the first of a tremendous group of doctors, nurses, staff and volunteers who successfully guided me through my cancer ordeal. Through this ordeal I learned impressive names for surgical procedures - radical left orchiectomy, retroperitoneal lymph node dissection, hydrocelectomy. Seriously, look them up. And I won’t try to recall the names of all my chemotherapy drugs.


When I was diagnosed I recall sitting on the front steps of the doctor’s office and going through a big mess of thoughts, fears and emotions. Thirteen years later and things changed a lot. What a difference it must be for those who can benefit from the energy that the Richard and Annette Bloch Cancer Survivors Park provides along with a venue for reflection. And right next door Wellspring Ottawa - MAPLESOFT Centre will add even more to this equation at the intersections of Alta Vista Dr., Industrial Ave., and Riverside Dr. Taken together, these facilities will quite simply change the way that people deal with a cancer diagnosis and navigate their own cancer ordeals. Indeed, taken together, these facilities will be world-class.

The Cancer Journey

Megan’s life lessons and insights from her memoir from last week’s Guest Blog will be a tough act to follow. Of course I had to battle a bout of procrastination even to get to this point. I am typing on the front porch while my daughter Hilary tests out 3D chalk on the laneway with Mom. Yes, they have 3D chalk and it has the necessary and magical glasses… and it works!!


So why am I a guest blogger? And why should you care let alone read the blog? I don’t necessarily plan to answer those questions but they did come to mind. I hope you enjoy and reflect upon my words.

I was diagnosed with testicular cancer in 1997. I was thirty years old and by all accounts very healthy and there wasn’t a history of cancer in my family. So I was both very shocked and very scared.

As a patient of the Ottawa Regional Cancer Centre, I learned that my cancer was malignant, I learned that I would require several major surgeries and I learned that I would require several rounds of chemotherapy. All of these were painful lessons. Of course it would have been much more painful to ignore the signs that something was very wrong with me.

As I delved into whatever I could learn about cancer one of the things I learned was that I was fortunate to live in Eastern Ontario due to the first rate care that was available supported by a strong charitable foundation which in turn is supported by people who make a difference. As a result, I was able to gain, very early on, confidence that I was in good hands so that my energies could focus on surviving rather than on a fear of cancer itself.

… and it worked. The passionate doctors, staff, and volunteers have sent me off into the world of those deemed “cancer-free”. I am now focusing my energies on helping increase cancer survivorship as a volunteer and a Vice-Chair of the Board of Directors of the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation and I encourage you all to lend a hand, in some manner, to help lighten the load of increasing cancer survivorship in Eastern Ontario.

Life Lesson #5: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

It’s such a cliché saying, but it’s true. For the most part, life’s complications mess you up a little, but everyone gets back on track. For my last guest blog entry, I want to share with you my thoughts and feelings of the exact moment I was diagnosed. What doesn’t kill you does make you stronger. I am living proof. I’m a stronger person than I was before – not just because of cancer. I’m a stronger person because all of the friends and family I had behind me helping me fight. I’m a stronger person because I had the will to carry on after receiving the worst news I could have imagined. We will all make it through our worst experiences in life. All you have to do is keep calm and carry on. I will leave you with an excerpt from my memoir, ‘Would You Like Your Cancer?’

* * *

…He looked at me, "Well Megan, I have some good news and I have some bad news, which would you like first?"

I thought to myself or a few seconds. Who gives the option of bad news or good news? I let out a short sigh, disappointed that there was any bad news at all. I had the selection of two options; with the outcome being I would hear both good and bad news no matter which ‘option’ I chose first.

I didn't know what to say, considering the bad news could have been something unimaginable and the good news; well, I expect the only good news anyone ever hears in a doctor's office is that they’re going to live. He took my silence as the go ahead for the bad news.

Time seemed to slow, almost to a complete stop. The air was very still. The noise coming from the air conditioning unit in the office seemed to fade away and the silence was so incredibly loud.

I was nauseous. I could vaguely hear voices through the walls and indistinct footsteps walking past the door. I kept thinking maybe he was confused and had my files mixed up with some other person's medical files. Perhaps he was in the wrong room. Perhaps there was another girl who was awaiting the results of her fine needle aspiration biopsy. I had no such luck.

"You have cancer."

I replayed his words over and over…and over. I looked straight ahead and saw nothing; the room was a blur of colour. I felt faint. It was the most dreamlike feeling. In that moment I was so aware of everything I was doing; it was as if I could only blink in slow motion. It was beyond surreal. My heart sank. I could hear my unsteady breathing. I could feel my chest as if it was rising a mile each time I took a breath. If the doctor continued to speak, I heard nothing. I was completely and utterly numb.

I felt my heart beat pound in my ears and I felt the blood drain from my face. The tears came and I could not stop them.

I looked intently at the faces of my parents. Both seemed to be in disbelief. I wish I could have known what they were both thinking at that very moment. I’m sure no parent ever wants to be told that their seventeen year old daughter has cancer.

I looked out the window into the brilliant sun. The clouds seemed to move at lightning speed, the earth turning unsteadily as my world shattered around me. My life came to a screeching halt.

I heard the doctor, but his words were so far away, “The good news is, you're going to live, you only have thyroid cancer."

Only. That’s a sharp statement if I ever heard one. If you only have five pieces of candy left, you still have candy. That was the point. I had thyroid cancer. I really had cancer.

I felt very alone.

My father looked out the window in trepidation.

My mother was crying.

I will never forget the moment I was diagnosed with cancer. It was one of the defining moments of my life.

Life Lesson #4: Things happen for a reason

I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. If I had not been diagnosed with cancer, I imagine that my life would be much different than it is now. I would not have met some of the people I now know, nor would I be where I am at this point in my life. There are many thoughts of "..what if?"


But to put things in perspective, something good has come out of something bad. I have had the opportunity to do things that I would have never had the chance to - all because of cancer. I was able to be interviewed by Tic at CKCU 93.1fm at Carleton University along with Linda Eagen, the CEO and President of the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. I will be writing an upcoming piece for Courage magazine and I will also have the opportunity to be featured in a commercial and ad campaign. I'm also wrapping up my first book - a memoir about my defeats and triumphs with cancer. I'm sure if cancer had never been a part of my life, there would be other things to write about, but as I said before, cancer touches everyone at some point in their lives.

There is certainly nothing glamorous about cancer and by no means am I using the fact that I am a cancer survivor to help me get ahead in any way. I am very proud to share my story as long as it means I am helping someone else cope a bit better, or maybe a young cancer victim can now relate to my story.

I am participating in the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation's Underwear Affair, presented by Mark's on September 11th and I am really looking forward to walking the 5K. Our community will come together and it will be a great time. Bring your family and friends, and if you haven't signed up already - go for it. You have nothing to lose, and everything to give. As a cancer survivor and a family member of those who are still fighting - it means as much to me as anyone else. Tomorrow will be my last blog entry for this week, and I really hope you enjoyed reading what I had to say. I would be glad to answer any questions you have for me, so please feel free to leave comments.

Life Lesson #3: Be as health as you can be!

There is a fair amount of debate surrounding the causes of cancer. Some causes are said to be family history, poor diet, lack of physical activity, being overweight and certain hormones. Then, of course, we have the obvious – smoking and alcohol consumption which are major risk factors when evaluating causes of cancer.


It’s in every human beings best interest to try to eat right, exercise regularly and consume the right amount of nutrients on a daily basis. I’m no doctor, nor a nutritionist by any means, but we all learn at a young age what foods are the best for your body. You need to get the most fruits and vegetables possible and consume enough water throughout the day to keep you hydrated.

Canada’s Food Guide – which my mother had on our refrigerator when I was young, gives great guidelines that are easy to follow. Planning meals and packing your lunch the night before is the best way to incorporate all the food groups. Paper bag lunches aren’t just for kids anymore!

My best advice is to consume three balanced meals a day with healthy snacks like carrot sticks or a piece of fruit between meals. Breakfasts should include whole eggs or egg whites, a piece of fruit and water or a cup of juice or milk. Cereals that are high in sugar are definitely not good for you. They taste great as we all know, but they won’t leave you satisfied. Lunch should be large enough to keep you feeling full until dinner or to tide you over until you’re able to have a small healthy snack.

Dinners are so easy to include all the healthy foods you need to have a balanced diet. Try to include palm-size portions of chicken (poultry is a great source of protein)and brighten up your plate with some more veggies. Try to get at least one half hour of exercise daily. Whether you’re taking your dog to the park, gardening, having a late night swim or a quick jog after work, incorporating exercise can help maintain a healthy weight when combined with the right meal plans.

Stay away from smoking and alcohol. This is coming from someone who had parents that smoked throughout her childhood. And I can undoubtedly say, nobody likes to smell smoke or smell like smoke. There are plenty of websites and guides to help smokers quit. You’re only hurting yourself by smoking, and the secondhand smoke disturbs others around you. The Canadian Cancer Society has a long list of publications to prevent all different types of cancers and guides to help you quit smoking - for those you want to and even for those you don't.

When I was diagnosed with cancer there was no explanation, which made it more difficult for me to understand. Staying healthy and making the right life choices will keep you on the path to staying cancer-free. Instead of choosing that Big Mac; opt for the salad with your choice of light dressing. Rather than drinking a litre of juice, try water with ice, and keep juices packed with sugars to a measured cup of 250ml.

All I can hope for is for people to realize that their health is the direct result of their choices. If you make better choices, you’re bound to have a long and healthy life.

Health Canada’s website
http://www.hs-sc.gc.ca/

Get your own copy of Canada’s Food Guide
(Available in PDF format or you can order a hard copy)
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/food-guide-aliment/order-commander/index-eng.php