The Power of Sharing Your Cancer Story

In 2007, I had a booth at the Ottawa Independent Writer’s Book Fair, an annual event that usually takes place in November at the RA Center in Ottawa. That is where I met Frank Hegyi, a fellow cancer survivor who was all excited to tell me about this very special book project he was working on that would bring hope and inspiration to cancer patients and survivors as well as their families, friends and colleagues. Knowing that I am a cancer survivor myself, Frank asked me if I wanted to join him in putting this book together that would be a collection of stories from cancer survivors. I was honoured to be invited to participate in such a special project and was especially touched because his vision for this project was not for profit, but rather to raise money for cancer research and cancer patient programs. I saw this as a wonderful opportunity to give back to both the Ottawa and global community.

I agreed to join the project. Jacquelin Holzman and Max Keeping, two well-known Ottawa personalities and other fellow cancer survivors, joined as well. The four of us formed a team to strategically get the word out and get the media on board to help us advertise that we were looking for cancer survivors to share their stories in our book. The Ottawa Citizen and the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation were instrumental in helping us to collect stories. The stories started to pour in. Each story was unique and inspiring beyond words. We ended up with a collection of 36 stories which now also includes my own story and those of Frank Hegyi, Jacquelin Holzman, Max Keeping and 32 others.

It was not necessarily easy for me to write my story as it forced me to think back and re-live a lot of the painful experiences I went through physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Yet at the same time it felt very liberating to put my story into words onto paper. I was able to release a lot of what I was still perhaps holding onto. Many of the contributors had commented to us that through writing their story they were able to heal in a way that they had not yet healed from their experiences. For many, this was the first time that they had actually shared and expressed what they had gone through.

What I found in my cancer experience is that the medical system focused so much on my physical well-being in terms of my chemotherapy treatments and side effects such as my hair loss, constipation, mouth sores and muscle spasms just to name a few, that I did not get that much support for what I was going through mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I didn’t even know myself what I was going through on those deeper levels because I too was so focused on just trying to get through my days without physical pain or discomfort. On the days that I felt happy and strong, I didn’t want to think about anything negative I may have been burying otherwise because I just wanted to enjoy feeling good and positive in every moment possible. A good day is something every cancer patient cherishes so why bring myself down? If you’re a cancer patient or survivor reading this, my guess is that you fully understand what I’m talking about.

That is what is so special about our book. It shares real stories from real people who have gone through the cancer experience. Some are still going through it, but they are survivors. We all are. If you have a cancer story inside you that you have not come to terms with, I encourage you to share your story. Write it down. Speak it into a tape recorder and get someone else to write it if you don’t think you’re a writer. It can be very cathartic for you. Also, by sharing your story as I did and the other contributors to our book, you can help someone else. You can touch their lives. There may be just one sentence in your story that brings them a new sense of hope and determination. Sometimes that is all it takes.

If you or someone you know is going through the cancer experience, I encourage you to purchase a copy of our book. It is called, Death Can Wait: Stories from Cancer Survivors available at Amazon.ca. To order you copy, please click HERE.

If you or someone you know would like to share your story for our next release of our book, please send stories to info@roslynfranken.com.
Roslyn Franken is an Ottawa Author, Speaker, Weight Loss Coach and Radio Host committed to helping people make positive changes for lasting results to how they look, feel and thrive in their lives. She is the author of The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living, host of How to Thrive after 35 Talk Radio and co-author of Death Can Wait: Stories from Cancer Survivors. For more information, visit http://www.roslynfranken.com.

Roslyn Franken is an Ottawa Author, Speaker, Weight Loss Coach and Radio Host committed to helping people make positive changes for lasting results to how they look, feel and thrive in their lives. She is the author of The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living, host of How to Thrive after 35 Talk Radio and co-author of Death Can Wait: Stories from Cancer Survivors.

Day 3: Victim to Victory

When I told her I was taking the city bus, she was mortified and insisted on being my ride. My automatic reaction was to say “No, no, that’s okay, I’m fine.” She did not let up and I finally accepted her offer. That was when I had my epiphany. It suddenly hit me that maybe she WANTED to help me. Maybe by doing this for me, it would make her feel good. I realized that I was always there to help my friends so why should I not allow them to be there for me in my time of need? Was I not worthy of their help, support and attention? I realized that by accepting her offer it did not make me weak or needy. Instead it made me human. I realized that there was absolutely no shame in receiving assistance and support from others. I did not have to walk along my path alone. I was finally able to let go.
Now as a cancer survivor who has also overcome my struggles with food, weight and poor lifestyle management, my passion is to be that person who others can rely on for help, support and encouragement in overcoming their similar food, weight and life management struggles. My message to you is you don’t have to fight your fight alone, whether it is solely with cancer or any other health and lifestyle issue you are seeking to overcome. If you are stuck in your own Pity Party, then it’s time to stop. Self-pity is only going to steal away the positive energy your spirit needs to keep your fight alive. If you are feeling alone in your fight, then reach out for help and support. Give yourself permission to share your emotions and let someone be there to simply listen or just hold you or give you the strategic insights you need to step out of your pity party and connect with your own inner strength and courage. It is okay to “feel”. If you are not doing a great job with eating properly, getting some form of regular physical activity and getting enough good quality sleep and rest, then again, reach out for help and get the help you need so that you feel you are doing whatever is in your control to fight your fight as best you can. It is not about being perfect. It is simply about doing your best and being as kind to your body, mind and spirit as you can.

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Day 2: Victim to Victory

To overcome my eating, weight and life outlook problems, I reflected back to my cancer experience to better understand the thinking and behaviour patterns I adopted to win my battle with cancer. I learned so much about myself in that time in terms of courage, faith, resilience and determination. I learned positive living strategies to fight off the negative emotions of fear, worry and anxiety that only rob you of the positive energy you need to fight the fight. Now the question was how to maintain those lessons and apply them to every area of my life for the rest of my life. That was to be the key to my healthy weight and positive lifestyle journey.

One of the key lessons I learned through my cancer experience was that my attitude of Self-Reliance was not helping me. I had always been the kind of person who didn’t like asking others for help. I always wanted to appear strong and independent and hated the idea of being a burden on others. I always felt that by asking others for help I would appear weak and needy and people wouldn’t like me that way. And so, I would prefer to do everything myself rather than reach out for help. When I found myself taking a city bus to my chemotherapy treatments because I didn’t want to ask anyone for a ride and could not afford a taxi at the time, I didn’t even think anything of it until someone asked me how I was getting to and from my treatments.

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From Victim to Victory

Age 29, vibrant and full of life, I was diagnosed with cancer - Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, Stage II. After the initial shock of this terrifying news, I knew I had a choice to make. I could either spend the next 9 months of chemotherapy treatments with all its lovely side effects in fear, feeling sorry for myself and playing the victim, or I could choose to go from fright to fight and victim to victory. I chose to fight back for victory. I never realized in that moment how the many lessons I learned through my cancer journey would help me later on with other health struggles.
Age 39, at my heaviest weight ever, and in fear for my health, I knew it was time to fight back once again, only this time to overcome my struggles with eating, weight and poor lifestyle management. To continue putting on weight was suddenly not an option. Knowing how many health problems are diet, weight and lifestyle related, such as diabetes, heart disease and many more including many forms of cancer, I had to ask myself how I could possibly continue along my unhealthy path, especially given my existing cancer history. I knew it was time to take stock of my relationship with food and how I was living my life. It was time to start doing a better job of looking after ME. I live every day knowing the possibility of my cancer coming back in one form or another, but I chose to do whatever is in my control to at least minimize the risks. For me that included gaining control of my eating, weight and outlook toward myself, others and the world around me. After all, if I could triumph over cancer, surely I could overcome my weight issues. The only reason I could think of now for how I let myself put on all those extra pounds over those years was that I was probably thinking things like “Hey, I just survived cancer, I DESERVE that piece of chocolate cake. I DESERVE that big bowl of ice cream.” I was using food as my drug of choice as so many of us do when we turn to food for comfort and solace. Well, after enough years of that thinking and that eating, it had finally caught up with me. And so my healthy eating and positive living journey began. Follow me this week as I take you through my journey.

Roslyn Franken is an Ottawa Author, Speaker, Weight Loss Coach and Radio Host committed to helping people make positive changes for lasting results to how they look, feel and thrive in their lives. She is the author of The A List: 9 Guiding Principles for Healthy Eating and Positive Living, host of How to Thrive after 35 Talk Radio and co-author of Death Can Wait: Stories from Cancer Survivors. For more information, visit www.roslynfranken.com.