Food: Friend or Foe?

Of all the things we began to worry about in the first few days of Andy’s diagnosis, we didn’t realize that food was going to be one of them. At first, we had no desire to eat because of stress. Then, as Andy started treatment (or after surgery), we realized that what he could and wanted to eat would greatly change. We stopped eating most dinners at the table as a family. I would eat with the kids, and he would eat when he could.

We were very fortunate to have wonderful friends and family who helped by bringing meals, offering meal gift certificates and making sure we were well stocked with food. This was incredibly important and immensely helpful.

Eventually it became clear that there were certain foods that Andy preferred. The grocery list looked sort of like this:

• Ginger cookies

• Cottage cheese

• Tuna

• Crackers

• Eggs

• Toast

• Rice

• Oatmeal

• Macaroni and Cheese

• Baked potato

And oddly, the occasional fast food hamburger was a must.

It was repetitive but we learned to stick with what he liked and knew. If we tried something else, it often went to waste.

He noticed his taste buds changed, so some food he greatly enjoyed wasn’t the same anymore. And in some cases, while trying to control the nausea, he didn’t want to eat his favourite foods for fear he’d never disassociate treatment with the food.

He lost weight, but little by little and not drastically. He ate what he could, when he could, at all hours of the night and day.

When treatment was over, and he finally could taste his favourite foods again, it was like a new awakening for him. He was enjoying food and able to eat what he wanted.

And we all started sitting at the table for dinner again.

Parenting with Cancer

In the early days of my husband’s diagnosis, everything we did seemed on autopilot. It was hard to have our usually fun-filled days with the kids. We kept them busy but we weren’t really in touch with anything else that was happening.

Surgery happened within 5 days of diagnosis, and luckily we had family around to watch the kids while we were at the hospital.

It wasn’t until Andy came home from the hospital to recover that him being sick seemed to set in. He wasn’t able to play (or move easily for that matter) and certainly couldn’t go to the park to play baseball with our son like he once had.

As we dealt with his recovery, and then chemotherapy which led to us being away for many hours at a time, we realized we needed a plan. We had to make the process as easy as possible on us and the kids.

Here are some recommendations that we learned may make the process a little easier:

1. Talk to the kids and fill them in according to their age. Be honest, but select your words wisely

Our children weren’t quite 2 and 4 so we stuck with general ‘daddy’s sick’ or ‘daddy has an ouchie on him that we have to be careful with’. We actually didn’t tell them about ‘cancer’ until he had to start chemotherapy.

When he started chemo, we were once again honest with them (mostly my son, as my daughter was too young to understand) about physical changes they would notice. Fatigue, loss of hair etc.

2. Line up a team of child care helpers and plan the schedule

We pretty well knew ahead of time who we could call during the day for appointments, last minute emergencies in the middle of the night (in case a fever spiked or reaction to medicine) and also lined up people who could care for them during our big weeks in treatment.
These are also the people that you want to encourage your children to talk to (in addition to you) if they have any concerns or worries while you are away.

3. Don’t change routine or habits any more than need be

Now is not the time to change sleeping times, eating habits or start potty training. Keep them on a routine as much as possible and let them have some flexibility – you’ll need it too.

4. Have an emergency bag ready to go

Ours had a change of clothes for each child, diapers and wipes, a few favourite books and toys. This was ready in case we had to change child care plans suddenly or had to drop them off somewhere that was unplanned.

5. Cut yourself some slack

There is nothing normal about what is happening to your family. The kids will become emotional at times (ours did) and ask a lot of questions (ours did) and that’s perfectly normal. You will be overtired and long for routine yourself. It will feel like you are failing them somehow because you aren’t playing as much etc. It’s ok.

When possible, spend as much time as a family together as you can, playing board games or reading stories. It will seem harder on the kids than it really is. Mine rarely talk about the hospital or when daddy was sick anymore.

Our journey begins like any other couple with young children.

We were all in, what we thought, was good health. We never missed our annual doctor’s appointments; we were conscious of what we ate; we were even using natural soap; and were happy. We lived as stress free as possible and did I mention we were happy?


My husband worked full time and I was a stay at home mom. The kids were not quite 4 and not quite 2.

It was a Monday that changed everything.

My husband was diagnosed with testicular cancer.

A month earlier, Andy had some mild pain and discomfort in his lower abdomen and testicle. At first, it seemed to go away, so we thought it may have been a strain. But when it returned, he immediately saw our family doctor. He was sent for an ultrasound and within days received a diagnosis of suspected testicular cancer.

Even in the few days when he was waiting for ultrasound results, we never once wondered if there was a chance this could be serious. We never wondered if this could be cancer. Not once.

So when he came home after his appointment that Monday and told me he had cancer, I was in complete shock. A spiralling few days followed. I was worried. Sad. Convinced I would lose him. However, we turned to information as a source of calm and quickly learned testicular cancer, when caught early, has very high survival rates. We didn’t know what was ahead, but we had hope.

Surgery was followed by Chemotherapy (topics for future blogs) and now, he is on a monthly surveillance program that includes blood work and x-rays.

It seems very likely that he has beaten this cancer!

It’s been 6 months of worry, wait, stress and support. We were surrounded by friends and family who helped provide food, comfort, and care for our children while we were at appointments and treatment. We also received incredible care and support from the health care system. Our family doctor, surgeon, oncologist, and the nurses and staff at the Ottawa General Hospital and Cancer Centre have helped make this journey very positive and much more doable. We realize, more than ever, how blessed we are to have amazing people in our lives. How blessed we are to have two beautiful children and each other.

This blog will share our experience in hopes of helping others through what is no doubt one of the most difficult times anyone can face. Anything I can do to help the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation, its patients and survivors is an honour and pleasure.

Thanks for reading along.