It’s such a cliché saying, but it’s true. For the most part, life’s complications mess you up a little, but everyone gets back on track. For my last guest blog entry, I want to share with you my thoughts and feelings of the exact moment I was diagnosed. What doesn’t kill you does make you stronger. I am living proof. I’m a stronger person than I was before – not just because of cancer. I’m a stronger person because all of the friends and family I had behind me helping me fight. I’m a stronger person because I had the will to carry on after receiving the worst news I could have imagined. We will all make it through our worst experiences in life. All you have to do is keep calm and carry on. I will leave you with an excerpt from my memoir, ‘Would You Like Your Cancer?’
* * *
…He looked at me, "Well Megan, I have some good news and I have some bad news, which would you like first?"
I thought to myself or a few seconds. Who gives the option of bad news or good news? I let out a short sigh, disappointed that there was any bad news at all. I had the selection of two options; with the outcome being I would hear both good and bad news no matter which ‘option’ I chose first.
I didn't know what to say, considering the bad news could have been something unimaginable and the good news; well, I expect the only good news anyone ever hears in a doctor's office is that they’re going to live. He took my silence as the go ahead for the bad news.
Time seemed to slow, almost to a complete stop. The air was very still. The noise coming from the air conditioning unit in the office seemed to fade away and the silence was so incredibly loud.
I was nauseous. I could vaguely hear voices through the walls and indistinct footsteps walking past the door. I kept thinking maybe he was confused and had my files mixed up with some other person's medical files. Perhaps he was in the wrong room. Perhaps there was another girl who was awaiting the results of her fine needle aspiration biopsy. I had no such luck.
"You have cancer."
I replayed his words over and over…and over. I looked straight ahead and saw nothing; the room was a blur of colour. I felt faint. It was the most dreamlike feeling. In that moment I was so aware of everything I was doing; it was as if I could only blink in slow motion. It was beyond surreal. My heart sank. I could hear my unsteady breathing. I could feel my chest as if it was rising a mile each time I took a breath. If the doctor continued to speak, I heard nothing. I was completely and utterly numb.
I felt my heart beat pound in my ears and I felt the blood drain from my face. The tears came and I could not stop them.
I looked intently at the faces of my parents. Both seemed to be in disbelief. I wish I could have known what they were both thinking at that very moment. I’m sure no parent ever wants to be told that their seventeen year old daughter has cancer.
I looked out the window into the brilliant sun. The clouds seemed to move at lightning speed, the earth turning unsteadily as my world shattered around me. My life came to a screeching halt.
I heard the doctor, but his words were so far away, “The good news is, you're going to live, you only have thyroid cancer."
Only. That’s a sharp statement if I ever heard one. If you only have five pieces of candy left, you still have candy. That was the point. I had thyroid cancer. I really had cancer.
I felt very alone.
My father looked out the window in trepidation.
My mother was crying.
I will never forget the moment I was diagnosed with cancer. It was one of the defining moments of my life.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Life Lesson #4: Things happen for a reason
I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. If I had not been diagnosed with cancer, I imagine that my life would be much different than it is now. I would not have met some of the people I now know, nor would I be where I am at this point in my life. There are many thoughts of "..what if?"
But to put things in perspective, something good has come out of something bad. I have had the opportunity to do things that I would have never had the chance to - all because of cancer. I was able to be interviewed by Tic at CKCU 93.1fm at Carleton University along with Linda Eagen, the CEO and President of the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. I will be writing an upcoming piece for Courage magazine and I will also have the opportunity to be featured in a commercial and ad campaign. I'm also wrapping up my first book - a memoir about my defeats and triumphs with cancer. I'm sure if cancer had never been a part of my life, there would be other things to write about, but as I said before, cancer touches everyone at some point in their lives.
There is certainly nothing glamorous about cancer and by no means am I using the fact that I am a cancer survivor to help me get ahead in any way. I am very proud to share my story as long as it means I am helping someone else cope a bit better, or maybe a young cancer victim can now relate to my story.
I am participating in the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation's Underwear Affair, presented by Mark's on September 11th and I am really looking forward to walking the 5K. Our community will come together and it will be a great time. Bring your family and friends, and if you haven't signed up already - go for it. You have nothing to lose, and everything to give. As a cancer survivor and a family member of those who are still fighting - it means as much to me as anyone else. Tomorrow will be my last blog entry for this week, and I really hope you enjoyed reading what I had to say. I would be glad to answer any questions you have for me, so please feel free to leave comments.
But to put things in perspective, something good has come out of something bad. I have had the opportunity to do things that I would have never had the chance to - all because of cancer. I was able to be interviewed by Tic at CKCU 93.1fm at Carleton University along with Linda Eagen, the CEO and President of the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation. I will be writing an upcoming piece for Courage magazine and I will also have the opportunity to be featured in a commercial and ad campaign. I'm also wrapping up my first book - a memoir about my defeats and triumphs with cancer. I'm sure if cancer had never been a part of my life, there would be other things to write about, but as I said before, cancer touches everyone at some point in their lives.
There is certainly nothing glamorous about cancer and by no means am I using the fact that I am a cancer survivor to help me get ahead in any way. I am very proud to share my story as long as it means I am helping someone else cope a bit better, or maybe a young cancer victim can now relate to my story.
I am participating in the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation's Underwear Affair, presented by Mark's on September 11th and I am really looking forward to walking the 5K. Our community will come together and it will be a great time. Bring your family and friends, and if you haven't signed up already - go for it. You have nothing to lose, and everything to give. As a cancer survivor and a family member of those who are still fighting - it means as much to me as anyone else. Tomorrow will be my last blog entry for this week, and I really hope you enjoyed reading what I had to say. I would be glad to answer any questions you have for me, so please feel free to leave comments.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Life Lesson #3: Be as health as you can be!
There is a fair amount of debate surrounding the causes of cancer. Some causes are said to be family history, poor diet, lack of physical activity, being overweight and certain hormones. Then, of course, we have the obvious – smoking and alcohol consumption which are major risk factors when evaluating causes of cancer.
It’s in every human beings best interest to try to eat right, exercise regularly and consume the right amount of nutrients on a daily basis. I’m no doctor, nor a nutritionist by any means, but we all learn at a young age what foods are the best for your body. You need to get the most fruits and vegetables possible and consume enough water throughout the day to keep you hydrated.
Canada’s Food Guide – which my mother had on our refrigerator when I was young, gives great guidelines that are easy to follow. Planning meals and packing your lunch the night before is the best way to incorporate all the food groups. Paper bag lunches aren’t just for kids anymore!
My best advice is to consume three balanced meals a day with healthy snacks like carrot sticks or a piece of fruit between meals. Breakfasts should include whole eggs or egg whites, a piece of fruit and water or a cup of juice or milk. Cereals that are high in sugar are definitely not good for you. They taste great as we all know, but they won’t leave you satisfied. Lunch should be large enough to keep you feeling full until dinner or to tide you over until you’re able to have a small healthy snack.
Dinners are so easy to include all the healthy foods you need to have a balanced diet. Try to include palm-size portions of chicken (poultry is a great source of protein)and brighten up your plate with some more veggies. Try to get at least one half hour of exercise daily. Whether you’re taking your dog to the park, gardening, having a late night swim or a quick jog after work, incorporating exercise can help maintain a healthy weight when combined with the right meal plans.
Stay away from smoking and alcohol. This is coming from someone who had parents that smoked throughout her childhood. And I can undoubtedly say, nobody likes to smell smoke or smell like smoke. There are plenty of websites and guides to help smokers quit. You’re only hurting yourself by smoking, and the secondhand smoke disturbs others around you. The Canadian Cancer Society has a long list of publications to prevent all different types of cancers and guides to help you quit smoking - for those you want to and even for those you don't.
When I was diagnosed with cancer there was no explanation, which made it more difficult for me to understand. Staying healthy and making the right life choices will keep you on the path to staying cancer-free. Instead of choosing that Big Mac; opt for the salad with your choice of light dressing. Rather than drinking a litre of juice, try water with ice, and keep juices packed with sugars to a measured cup of 250ml.
All I can hope for is for people to realize that their health is the direct result of their choices. If you make better choices, you’re bound to have a long and healthy life.
Health Canada’s website
http://www.hs-sc.gc.ca/
Get your own copy of Canada’s Food Guide
(Available in PDF format or you can order a hard copy)
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/food-guide-aliment/order-commander/index-eng.php
It’s in every human beings best interest to try to eat right, exercise regularly and consume the right amount of nutrients on a daily basis. I’m no doctor, nor a nutritionist by any means, but we all learn at a young age what foods are the best for your body. You need to get the most fruits and vegetables possible and consume enough water throughout the day to keep you hydrated.
Canada’s Food Guide – which my mother had on our refrigerator when I was young, gives great guidelines that are easy to follow. Planning meals and packing your lunch the night before is the best way to incorporate all the food groups. Paper bag lunches aren’t just for kids anymore!
My best advice is to consume three balanced meals a day with healthy snacks like carrot sticks or a piece of fruit between meals. Breakfasts should include whole eggs or egg whites, a piece of fruit and water or a cup of juice or milk. Cereals that are high in sugar are definitely not good for you. They taste great as we all know, but they won’t leave you satisfied. Lunch should be large enough to keep you feeling full until dinner or to tide you over until you’re able to have a small healthy snack.
Dinners are so easy to include all the healthy foods you need to have a balanced diet. Try to include palm-size portions of chicken (poultry is a great source of protein)and brighten up your plate with some more veggies. Try to get at least one half hour of exercise daily. Whether you’re taking your dog to the park, gardening, having a late night swim or a quick jog after work, incorporating exercise can help maintain a healthy weight when combined with the right meal plans.
Stay away from smoking and alcohol. This is coming from someone who had parents that smoked throughout her childhood. And I can undoubtedly say, nobody likes to smell smoke or smell like smoke. There are plenty of websites and guides to help smokers quit. You’re only hurting yourself by smoking, and the secondhand smoke disturbs others around you. The Canadian Cancer Society has a long list of publications to prevent all different types of cancers and guides to help you quit smoking - for those you want to and even for those you don't.
When I was diagnosed with cancer there was no explanation, which made it more difficult for me to understand. Staying healthy and making the right life choices will keep you on the path to staying cancer-free. Instead of choosing that Big Mac; opt for the salad with your choice of light dressing. Rather than drinking a litre of juice, try water with ice, and keep juices packed with sugars to a measured cup of 250ml.
All I can hope for is for people to realize that their health is the direct result of their choices. If you make better choices, you’re bound to have a long and healthy life.
Health Canada’s website
http://www.hs-sc.gc.ca/
Get your own copy of Canada’s Food Guide
(Available in PDF format or you can order a hard copy)
http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/food-guide-aliment/order-commander/index-eng.php
Monday, August 23, 2010
Life Lesson #2: Don't compare your life to those of others
In everyone’s life at some point or another, they come across something they find hard to accept. It can be something against their morals, their will or something they simply don’t understand. It can be a person, a dream or a way of life. For instance, I found it very hard to accept the fact that I had cancer. I did not want it. It was not fair. I did not understand. To be very frank, my first thoughts were, ‘Someone else deserves this, not me.’
Collecting my thoughts in later years, I realized it was very unkind of me to think such things. No one deserves to be ill, sick or disadvantaged in any way. Everyone has their own path in life which they choose to follow. Some may stray off their path and others will ride it until the very end. My path became obstructed when I was diagnosed. After finding out that my surgery was scheduled for late September and that radiation therapy would last two weeks, my hopes for post-secondary education that year began to fade. There would be no way for me to attend class and do well in my courses missing a combined month and a half. My life would be put on hold for some time.
I immediately began to compare myself with others, envious of my friends who were to begin college and university. I was completely and utterly jealous and I will admit it freely. Cancer was scary. I wanted to be the girl on campus, drinking Starbucks, having fun. I thought I was the only one going through a difficult time in my life. I didn’t know until years later that a friend’s grandmother had passed away and another friend had missed deadlines for university that same year. A few friends had even failed classes in our last year and had to stay back for a semester. All their lives were put on hold too, but for different reasons.
Different people cope with different things differently. That is what makes us all so unique. You never know the path that is taken by another whether it’s a stranger, a friend or a colleague. Their path may look far better to you than your own and vice versa. However, you don’t know what their personal conflicts are and you don’t know how they deal with things and how difficult it may be for them.
Be happy with what you have and the life you live and try not to compare yourself to others. Life is what you make it and if you are lucky there are little surprises along the way. You can wish upon a star for a life much different than your own but would you really want to forget the great people you’ve met along the way, erase all the love you’ve shared and change the dreams you’ve created for yourself. Would you really want to trade your problems for the problems of someone else?
Collecting my thoughts in later years, I realized it was very unkind of me to think such things. No one deserves to be ill, sick or disadvantaged in any way. Everyone has their own path in life which they choose to follow. Some may stray off their path and others will ride it until the very end. My path became obstructed when I was diagnosed. After finding out that my surgery was scheduled for late September and that radiation therapy would last two weeks, my hopes for post-secondary education that year began to fade. There would be no way for me to attend class and do well in my courses missing a combined month and a half. My life would be put on hold for some time.
I immediately began to compare myself with others, envious of my friends who were to begin college and university. I was completely and utterly jealous and I will admit it freely. Cancer was scary. I wanted to be the girl on campus, drinking Starbucks, having fun. I thought I was the only one going through a difficult time in my life. I didn’t know until years later that a friend’s grandmother had passed away and another friend had missed deadlines for university that same year. A few friends had even failed classes in our last year and had to stay back for a semester. All their lives were put on hold too, but for different reasons.
Different people cope with different things differently. That is what makes us all so unique. You never know the path that is taken by another whether it’s a stranger, a friend or a colleague. Their path may look far better to you than your own and vice versa. However, you don’t know what their personal conflicts are and you don’t know how they deal with things and how difficult it may be for them.
Be happy with what you have and the life you live and try not to compare yourself to others. Life is what you make it and if you are lucky there are little surprises along the way. You can wish upon a star for a life much different than your own but would you really want to forget the great people you’ve met along the way, erase all the love you’ve shared and change the dreams you’ve created for yourself. Would you really want to trade your problems for the problems of someone else?
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