The other day I read a post on a friend’s Facebook Page wall that said, “Most people have a thousand wishes for Christmas, but a Cancer Patient only has one; to get better”.
I don’t know where my friend found this quote and I have been looking for its source ever since to provide proper references and much thanks to its author for this meaningful phrase.
Christmas can be a very trying time for both those battling the disease and their caregivers.
To begin with, Ottawa is a cold city during the winter and for those who are actively on chemotherapy treatments that include some of the platinum-based chemo cocktails (ie: oxaliplatin, cisplatin) venturing outside can be excruciatingly painful. In fact, even putting a hand in the refrigerator, let alone the freezer, can bring on tears! I experienced this first hand when I went through several cycles of FolFox (which includes oxaliplatin) during the winter months and I will never forget the searing pain which assaulted my face, especially my eyes, when I tried going outside even for a few moments.
Beside the physical pain that treatments can inflict upon the body; be it from the cold, the nausea, the lack of appetite, the odd taste of food, as well as the never-ending fatigue, there is also the emotional burden many cancer patients will experience.
Christmas is supposed to be a time of love, laughter, family get-togethers and most of all, a time of hope and renewal. As a cancer patient, it can be quite daunting to get into this Christmas spirit when you not only feel like crap, but look like crap, and ‘hope’ becomes just a four letter word. Family members who think they are helping the cancer patient with their constant words of encouragement and positive platitudes are in many cases not. In fact, they may be adding another layer of burden onto the patient who often feels guilty that s/he can not put on a happy and/or brave face for the sake of the family when this may be the last thing they feel like doing. Sometimes, but especially during the Christmas holiday season, cancer patients just need to be able to express how they feel without others judging them and without hearing that annoying, ‘everything’s going to be all-right dear’.
So, if any of you have family or close friends who are fighting the good fight this Christmas season, the best gift you can give them is the gift of listening, being there for them, and most of all, refraining from telling them not to worry because everything’s going to be all-right dear’.
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Believe it or not, you're also giving very good advice to people who live with and love cancer patients, and sometimes don't know what's the best thing to say or the best approach to take. Of course, we'll never have the same battle as the person with the diagnosis, but there's so little really good advice on what to do. Your frankness is a really good eye-opener and reality check. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is currently undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer (yes, men get it, too) and is being treated in Belleville, as we moved here just months before his diagnosis. Ivona is a friend and as she has had experience with this journey, she has been my go-to person and has given lots of good advice and tips. For example, when he got a cold a while back, a medical person said he should take Vit C. Of course, we rushed out to buy it and when I told Ivona she quickly sent me not one but two articles stating that Vit C can interfere with the chemotherapy. This is why sites like this and interaction with other people who have gone through the process are so important. My husband's prognosis is excellent and with only one more treatment to go, we are anxious to get on with the next round, which is radiation. Then we can get our lives back on track. One thing I will say is that our days at the oncology clinic are usually about 8 hours and that is having the blood work done ahead of time. We have never minded the long days, though, because we got a chance to meet lots of people and share stories. The staff are lovely and make us feel like we are important and not just a job. Again, thanks to Ivona she has made this journey easier because of the help she has given us with her knowledge and advice.
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