How Cancer has affected my life and the life of my family

Since I was diagnosed the biggest change has been the loss of my independence. Once I started my chemo treatment I was not sure whether I could handle it while living on my own so I moved back home. Being almost 30 and living at home was definitely not what I had ever envisioned for my life. It isn’t all bad because I have no rent; groceries and cable are paid for so those are bonuses. But if I had my choice I would still be out on my own. Since I have been in treatment for over a year now I know I can handle my treatments and do everything I need to do to survive so I am planning on moving out again in the fall, which I can’t wait for. I think that will make me feel like a more normal 30 year old woman.

The second biggest change is that I have not worked since November 2009. I am now on disability. Which I guess is an extension of losing my independence. This is another thing in my life I never thought I would have to do. Relying on an insurance company for my living is not exactly what I want. I always enjoyed working and miss it a lot. I hope one day I can return. If only to make me feel like a normal 30 year old. Someone my age should not be on disability. I should be out there contributing my part to society. But instead I spend most my days at home waiting for my friends to get off work for something to do.

One positive thing that came out of my diagnosis is that my family has definitely become closer. Before diagnosis we mostly went on with our own lives and did not do much together. Now for the first time ever we are taking a family trip to Cape Cod this summer. I am really looking forward to it. I also feel that I and my sister have become a lot closer. Before we never had much in common but now have found some common ground and definitely fight a lot less.

One thing they don’t tell you once you are diagnosed is how boring being sick is. Your life changes drastically but in the end it stops you in your tracks and you have to go through the motions of all the doctor appointments and the treatments waiting to get your normal life back. Don’t get my wrong it is worth going through everything and keeping optimistic even in the face of not the best odds but once you are diagnosed you can’t help wanting to feel normal again